Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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wanna here a joke? you.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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