Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Your mother is so fat.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops