How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops