Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops