How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Neither have I

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops