Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Sir, your wife is dead

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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A pope meets another one

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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