A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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boobs!

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops