What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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I <3 Hitler

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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dat shoe shine tho

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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