what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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