Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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