My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

In soviet Russia...things are different

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what this: b a dead one of these: p

thumb_up thumb_down -3

World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops