why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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I love you

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops