How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Psychics.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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