cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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jews

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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