Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Please ignore this statement.

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Why didn't he finish his

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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