what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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