How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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Oh, go away

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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Basically

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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My children are mistakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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