Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

Justin's life

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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