How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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