A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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