You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops