What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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