How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Justin's life

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's stupid a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops