What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...