Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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salad days!

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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The Big Band Theory

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

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What is 9+10? 19

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops