What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...