Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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