What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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