How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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