roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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._____________________. Whale!

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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