Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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ur an fagit

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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