why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -16

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i am writing this because i felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops