What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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A seal walks into a club.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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run farther?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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