Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops