How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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