My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

thumb_up thumb_down -42

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

REHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHAB

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops