Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...