What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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