What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Pickles are powerful

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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