What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

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what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops