Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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