Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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