A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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cory

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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