What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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