Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

roses are red, violets are blue, penis

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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