Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Women's Professional _________

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Women's rights

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops