If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops