Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Barack Obama.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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