A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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I like touching my boobs

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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