there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

bite me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops