What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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