A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

thumb_up thumb_down

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down

What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

thumb_up thumb_down

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

thumb_up thumb_down

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

thumb_up thumb_down

wenis

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops